POKEMON

I never put you second, but I realized that I was not a priority.
And choices are made upon priorities.

One step back at a time I will take further to forget about a hope that I once used to have and start over by learning from the past.

STILLETOS

Stilettos oh dear stilletos,

You gave me so much confidence, glamour and self esteem. 

Your flawless appearance is so captivating, you look pretty.

I had so much fun being with you, dancing around fooling around.

You accompany me throughout high end parties, made me successful with a little touch of your sensuality.

You changed the way I walked, the way I talk, the way I smile, and sometimes the way I think too. 

You are different than any other shoe. 

Sometimes I feel those feelings are just enough to make me fall in love with you. 

Stilletos oh dear stilletos, 

An hour or two would be fine, but I guess I will kill myself if I had to stay for a day with you. 

You hurt me often, you make me feel in blue whenever I get blisters because of you. 

Or whenever I think that you feel more comfortable inside your box.
Sometimes you make me feel for not being myself. 

You made me a different person whenever I wear you. 

Dear stilletos, you got those heels, those will be enough to kill me.

But I dont now why I stood up for you, you are just too good to be true.

dear stilletos, what if you got rid of your heels? would you still be nice to me? 

Now I have to decide to keep you, or to let you go.

   

UNDERWORLD

Journey heading to the underworld. I sat on the third row of a dozen on the black Pegasus carriage just in front of him. I remember very well that hooded bassaris leather robe which reflects his warmth showing as if he came from some place beyond the borders of the known and civilized. He looked very charming from the distance, but I never had noticed it until one day he was gone forever. 

GESLAAGD!! :D

I finally had reached that touch down, now I can go to the next.. thank you spirit, thank you motivation, thank you inspiration :)

INTERSECTION

And eventually it comes to this point where I have nothing to chose 

than to follow that straight line (victoryka,2011).

Surat Cinta

Walking astray to leave the shadow.

perfectly crazy morning : II

P A R A D I S E

i miss the running water

and the warmth within the rainy day 

playing the curvy guitar

the sweet scent of incense

the smell of fresh sauteed garlic and pepper

and random sentences that lingers the past

i know its only a mind trick

only fools who will believe that it will drift so far

i wish to return to the real world 

soon before i lose my sanity

K A B A R

Dimulai dengan satu jam paling sedikit satu kali, sampai tak terhitung jari

Menjadi sepuluh kali dalam sehari, hilang waktu demi jalan berlalu,

Hingga hati berlabuh dan akhirnya menjadi tiga kali sehari,

Waktu pun semakin hilang, hingga disadari akhirnya terhitung dengan jari,

Tiga... lalu dua.. lalu satu...

Rasa hampa mulai merasyuk dalam kalbu,

Terasa di dalam sanubari dan lama kelamaan menjadi sendu,

Lalu lama lama menjadi tidak sama sekali.

dan menciptakan kehampaan yang tak berarti.

Visual Lust

I only like to gaze upon you, visualize the sweet taste of your temptation. 

With you, I would have a one night stand, but I wouldn't want to have 

you for the rest of my life because you are too sweet to be true.

PLATONIC LOVE

Recently I've been stumbling upon the same word for the last couple of two days and it made me think further of how it would contribute to my understanding of love and relationship. "PLATONIC", to some of you might think that this terminology is unfamiliar. Platonic derives from the word "Plato" which literally refers to the famous Greek philosopher who developed his Idealism by engaging to Socrates, his teacher.


Plato had his own identity in defining relationship especially for the sacred term of love. Platonic love often transcends physical desire and tending toward the purely spiritual or ideal, theoretically, which literally means a relationship which is free from physical desires. Plato did not invent the term or the concept that bears his name, but according to his own perspective he had foreseen sexual desires between two unions as potential obstacles towards reaching a higher level of love. So as theories were developed by his followers, the term "platonic love" came to be used for verbalizing a spiritual and emotional love between persons of opposite sexes.

But the question is, does platonic love exist or is it just a platonic nonsense?
Platonic love seemed to be rarely spotted among most monogamous relationship in the more sophisticated and complicated modern world nowadays where people tend to be more physically affectionate to overcome stress than years before.

According to Jhon Grays book “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus”, he noticed that men and women act upon hormones, which are working against people achieving monogamy in a stressful world.

Oxytocin is best known for its anti stress roles; helps relax and reduce blood pressure and cortisol levels. Oxytocin increases pain thresholds, has anti anxiety effects, and stimulates various types of positive social interaction. In addition, it also promotes growth and healing. The release of Oxytocine is stimulated by ingestion of food, olfaction, as well as by certain types of sound and light. In relationship, positive interaction involving physical interactions and psychological support are also recognized as purely a psychological mechanisms which can trigger the release of "anti stress hormone for female"

So in other hand long-term relationships generate Oxytocin, which is also defined as the "love hormone", encourages bonding between couples and helps to lower female stress levels. But that advantage bear on for the opposite counterpart. "With oxytocin and men, as the women's stress level goes down when she gets Oxytocin from a loving monogamous relationship, the man's Testosterone level goes down, so therefore men become more stressed. To cope with this inclination or to literally to stimulate the production of Testosterone level, a man usually seeks out risky behavior such as physical actions, competition, or sexual interactions to push it back up again.

So, if  males and females are able to control the mind followed by their physical desire there will still be possibilities for platonic love to occur in a relationship but yes it would need a great effort to do so. So it comes back again to ourselves and our own decisions that we make.

JustRandomThoughtsOf Nadya Victoryka

reference:
http://startpagina.paginablog.nl/startpagina/2011/05/What_drives_Alpha_males_to_keep_on_having_affairs_United_States_.html
http://www.raysahelian.com/oxytocin.html
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Platonic

MENGGELINDING

Life is like a snowball tumbling down the steep, it picks up things as you go and eventually be more meaningful when it gets bigger (victoryka, 2011).

TEAL & BOB

While opening my twitter account somehow it led me to Lady Gaga's profile, i'm not a big fan of her, but I do appreciate her effort in contributing to gender equality (somehow), i could say shes kinda of a philanthropist in an awkward way. On her tweets were links which showed her latest  interview in Tokyo Japan. There, she had someone inspired by her looks during her concert just a couple of days before her interview which was also taken place in Tokyo and made a Hello Kitty doll all in teal (at that moment she had teal attributes covering her body not to mention her hair). I always had in mind the Little mermaid who made teal such trend (well) it always got the SEA associated somehow. Its all about her latest single "HAIR", i wonder how she got such concept. I wandered if Natalie Portman had something to do with this "bob-ish" haircut or maybe Anna Wintour's iconic look. 

Right : Natalie Portman in "Leon"/ The Professional  

I S P O

DON'T COMPLAIN THAT YOU HAVE THE MOST MISERABLE LIFE THAN ANY PEOPLE IN THE WORLD. OTHER PEOPLE HAD TRIED TO GET YOU OUT OF THERE WITHOUT YOU KNOWING THAT THEY ALSO HAVE THEIR OWN LIFE, PLEASE RESPECT THAT BEST EFFORT AND RESPECT OTHER PEOPLES LIFE!

DISSAPOINTMENT

lesson learned today:
Disappointment does not come from others but it comes from yourself. Disappointment appear when we expect the highest from another (especially that another is a person whom we trust). So don't expect too high on someone, but make sure we always try to respect other peoples feelings and effort and try not to do things for granted.

Nothing Alike One Another

These are two songs sung by two of my fave artists, i love them both because each song represents different context. 

UTADA HIKARU - FYI

ANGGUN C.SASMI - SEIZE THE MOMENT

M I S S - T A K E N

I give you my heart
Hold on, let me sign it
Your senorita a.k.a. your best friend
Hereby, let it be known
Love like never before
I'm always at your service
You just have to holla at me

FYI - Utada Hikaru

A Portray of Indonesia's History Inside a Romantic Cinematography

The Year of Living Dangerously (1982)

For most of you who might not recognize, this is a movie was taken place in Indonesia (late 1965) during the overthrown of the current president, Sukarno. He was also accused for being the mastermind of one of the most  horrifying  massacre of the communist.This movie was banned in Indonesia due to the substantial historic sensitivity during the time of release,however, I consider this as a valuable national archive and a touchy romantic cinematography PLUS Mel Gibson was the main Actor!!

F I G H T

Its been 11 months so far, time flies before you know it, but then again strolling some times in my blog made me realize that lots of things had happened until now and I could still recall the burden of winter. I had a dream to return back homeland this July but then things turned out differently, I believe the all Mighty has another greater plan, things are getting boring for me, my time is running short, but i still have another two month to settle in this cold country before I feel the eternal summer heat of my hometown.

I have been undergoing my Final year of college for about 11 months in the Netherlands until now and i just need 2 more months to survive before everything is over.  I believe i did not fail, and i wont.. I am just a bit delayed for reaching the finish line. Things were never easy from the start. I managed to survive this far, and I am proud of myself. Urban Design is something that is new for me I used to study Architecture and it had a slightly different approach. The whole learning process was a totally different experience than what i have previously experienced during the past 1 year I realized that I was fragile and introvert, unfocused an d a bit lost because of the circumstance,but now I am about to emerge.

E M O T I O N

I consider love is a circumstance.

Its not an obligation rather a responsibility.

Its not physical rather more abstract. 

Its not always about proximity but rather a chemistry. 

Loving needs pure sincerity nothing for granted.

Love differs according to the subject.

Love is an emotion, just like resentments it has the ability to divide. 

But the difference lies on the degree and quality. 

Its like an eternal fire, it will attenuate but it will never be extinct.

It is irreplaceable but it is fulfill-able.

Love waits and approaches.

Love is about the mind, the heart, the soul, not the bodily matter. Its rather audio than visual.

Love is not  need but an attribute. 

Love is not a secret, it is a pride, because love is brave.

Love is a trust rather than an agreement.

Love is not logic or realistic.

 Vincent Van Gogh

HE

pleasure
tears
trust
affection

attention

comfort

misses
listens
argues
looks after
motivates
never quits

lends his shoulders
lends his back

heart
future
the one

P R A Y E R

Dear Allah, the only thing I would give for my mothers birthday present is an "Ing" diploma certificate and my presence home this July, I hope it will come true, i promise to fulfill my vow that i intend to make upon and i promise i will not quit to strive to build my dream. Amin..

Deventer Ceria!

PPI Deventer (Perhimpunan Pelajar Indonesia di Kota Deventer) adalah organisasi yang terdiri dari pelajar-pelajar Indonesia yang sedang menempuh pendidikan di kota Deventer- Belanda. Didirikan pada tahun 2010 yang pada tahun kepengurusan tersebut diketuai oleh Mochammad Yusni Azis, PPI Deventer diakui secara resmi oleh Republik Indonesia sebagai bagian dari PPI-Belanda (Indonesische Studenten Vereniging in Nederland atau disingkat ISVN. Diterjemahkan ke dalam bahasa Inggris menjadi Indonesian Students Association in the Netherlands atau disingkat ISAN).

Tujuan utama didirikannya PPI Deventer sesuai dengan parameter landasan PPI Belanda, yaitu untuk menyuarakan aspirasi, sinergisasi potensi, dan memberikan advokasi bagi anggotanya.

Dalam mewujudkan tujuan diatas, PPI Deventer mengadakan berbagai program aktif yang diantaranya adalah menyelenggarakan dan mengkoordinasikan berbagai macam kegiatan baik yang bersifat akademis dan non-akademis, internal dan external kota untuk memupuk rasa persatuan diantara anggotanya dalam suasana kekeluargaan, para anggotanya dalam menunjang pendidikannya, menjalin hubungan dengan organisasi pelajar Indonesia lainnya dan organisasi pelajar internasional, serta mengembangkan sistem informasi demi ketersebaran informasi pendidikan yang ada di Deventer pada khususnya dan di Belanda pada umumnya.

B.Struktur kepimpinan

Kepemimpinan dalam organisasi PPI Deventer dirangkai dalam susunan kepengurusan PPI Deventer. Formasi kepengurusan terdiri dari ketua umum, sekretaris umum, bendahara umum serta bidang-bidang yang diperlukan yang dipilih dan dilantik oleh ketua umum. Adapun syarat dan ketentuan untuk kepengurusan PPI Deventer diatur dalam anggaran rumah tangga PPI Deventer.

Struktur kepengurusan PPI/d tahun 2010/2011 dapat dilihat pada bagan berikut:

Ketua Umum Firman Syarif

Seksi Presidium I.N.G. Angga Sumantri & Nadya Victoryka

Sekretaris Umum Marinda Amitia

Bendahara Umum Adibah Nurul Yunisya

Seksi Minat dan Bakat Ariawan Bismantoro

Seksi Pendidikan dan Kesejahteraan Echo Agripa Sembiring

Seksi Kom.info Aditia Thomas Robert Noya

Seksi Visual Media Paulus Wijayanto

Let’s get out of this country!

Let’s get out of this country
I’ll admit I am bored with me
I drowned my sorrows and slept around
When not in body at least in mind
We’ll find a cathedral city
You can convince me I am pretty

We’ll pick berries and recline
Let’s hit the road dear friend of mine
Wave goodbye to our thankless jobs
We’ll drive for miles maybe never turn off
We’ll find a cathedral city you can be handsome I’ll be pretty

What does this city have to offer me?
Everyone else thinks it’s the bee’s knees
What does this city have to offer me?
I just can’t see
I just can’t see

Let’s get out of this country
I have been so unhappy
Smell the Jasmine my head was turned
I feel like getting confessional
We’ll find a cathedral city you can convince me I am pretty

What does this city have to offer me?
Everyone else thinks it’s the bee’s knees
What does this city have to offer me?
I just can’t see
I just can’t see




----Camera Obscura----

Mind Control

TRYING TO CONVERT ANGER INTO A POSITIVE ENERGY.

Netherlands, a Sustainable Country.

Netherlands, Holland, or Kingdom of the Netherlands or you can call it either has stupefied me with with its concept of  simplicity in maintaining sustainability at all sorts of aspects. During my stay in the Netherlands it made me aware of things that I have never thought before, I admire this country so much for its systematically simple approach in city planning, urban design, landscape and environment. Thats why from my point of view it is one of the best country to gain lots of experience and to enhance studies.

It was a fine Saturday afternoon as I was strolling about the city center of Deventer, a city in the southern part of The Netherlands where i enroll my study as a Final Year Urban Design student. I noticed a great mess on the paved streets of the old center (or as we call it here "Centrum"). I was amazed on how complicated the plumbing systems  turned out to be beneath the neatly paved old streets, I couldn't even notice a single pipe running in the streets until i saw this and recalled the lessons i took during the water management class (which i weren't obliged to actually take, hhe) Netherlands has the most integrated plumbing systems and waterworks. Since geographically, Netherlands had been coping problems with keeping  balance between its lands and waters The Netherlands  were able to improve gradually over so many applied researches to struggle with its water problems for so many years, this improvement on water works enabled to make The Netherlands famous for its waterfront design such as the famous palm Island in Dubai which empowered the some of the best professionals in architecture, urban design, water engineer and a lot others from The Netherlands. 

Last easter I had a phone call from my host Family. They wanted to know whether i was up for a spare time to walk a mile somewhere in a conservation park in Apeldoorn called Sallandse Heuvelrug, a place just 45 minutes away from Deventer by car. and just in time for a break i had some time to kill that day anyway, well even though my final project was screaming in despair for me to get my hands on. While we were driving through the man made forest as Sylvia explained thoroughly about how the conservation forest eventually existed, its a long story i tell you, hhe. But I was just surprised on how they explained the vast field of secondary forest of oak, pine, and typical european circumboreal landscape.

Its  as if the small piece of land was a treasure, its nothing close or comparable as forests we have in  Kalimantan, Sumatra, Sulawesi, or even Java with its different varieties of vegetation but what made me fascinated was how they gave such appreciation in for the remnants of the forest and heather field. Maybe because i grew up in a place where i could find greens in every corner i didn't really get the point of just sitting there to catch the scenery, but then as they explained to me on how these kind of place was able to keep balance between nature and the urban sprawl. She explained on how the mutual relationship between the forest and the local shepards were going and how they also contributed to the fertility of the soil, because as we know most dutch lands were sand dunes and how the forest were able to keep the dutch troops alive by hiding behind the slender pine trees fighting with the Germans.

This is a picture from of the oldest preserved farm house in Drenthe which i took last week in an open air museum in Arnhem, made out of clay and soil. i guess these were the early form of sustainable housing built by the Dutch. its amazing how these form of traditional houses once existed in a country where now in the 21st century the architecture in the Netherlands is becoming a global trend.

Collecting wind power for energy, yes we all know that, but did you know that windmills were first invented in somewhere in the Middle east? Windmills as traditional power generator nowadays are still preserved in the Netherlands as a part of the architectural heritage. Some are still erected for uses of public museums, some still reserved as wheat grinding machine or wood sawing tools. There are different kinds of windmills in the Netherlands according to its locations and functions. This picture was taken in the Zandaam district of Netherland. The well preserved landscape and beautiful countryside skyline were amazing!

Tulips, one of the greatest discovery for the Netherlands. The first Tulip brought to The Netherlands originated from Turkey causing Tulipomania an economic turmoil, an eventual crash of the inflated tulip market which was eventually settled. Nowadays Tulips are used as assets to attract tourism as for example the Keukenhof garden which displays different varieties of tulips which is open once in a season (spring) and sold in supermarkets to decorate interior homes.

Old city centre in most countries in Europe are revitalized for economic growth and urbanism. The old city centre usually are rejuvenated and revitalised as modern town centres where people shop, interact and meet. this Urban design strategy is very effective due to the benefit it brings for the town. Usually old town centres in Europe are planned well to cater the need of settlements living in the area. Old town centres or known in the Netherlands as "Centrum" are a major tourism attraction due to its economic benefit and also historical values.

PENCIL

done in illustrator and photoshop

Sometimes i just get bored with straight lines, precisions, and limits.  

Ed Turner

I wish he would sing to me every night before I go to sleep, while stroking those slender guitar strings over and over.
Dear Pegasus Bridge, please do a tour again in the Netherlands. :(

Caught in the middle

Stuck

Should I choose to play with the fierce Tiger or the ferocious Lion or just stay with the fearless leopard?? 

Perfectly crazy morning..

Hey skinny white boy!

Its o.k, if you ask me to stay & I don't care 

A Sad Story

A person might come and go, but friends stay forever..

Progress in Determination of Life

Ps. pictures may not explain much, ill do the review latter since ive loads of things to do, but for the further 5 days from today will be the day which determines my future, so wish me luck!! :DD

Koninggenndag. Dipenven, 30 April 2011

Queen's Day or the Dutch would say Koninginnedag is a public holiday where all people in all the province of The Kingdom of Netherlands celebrate the Queens birthday in the streets with various festivities and a free Market (well, it is not totally free actually for a stand in Dipenven (just in the border of Deventer where I live) you would have to pay 25 euros for having a single stand which includes a tent) but for dutch people its considered as free knowing the fact that the tax rate are excessively high for every sales and services within the country. 

All sorts of things are being sold that day, you can almost find anything like home appliances, kitchen ware, clothing, accessories, and lots of other goods old and new with a reasonable price, besides that the good thing about this free market is that it is possible to bargain, (well at least some, hhe) I managed to get a couple of great deals; an LCD screen camera protector, it usually will cost me for 9-10 euros but i managed to bargain it for only 6 ngeee :DD 

I also bought this on the way, a new pair of vintage tulip ear ring,  it only costed me 50 cent :))

That day most people were wearing orange attributes and clothings to honor Queen Wilhelmina, but since i had no orange in my wardrobe i went to pick a theme of the Dutch flag red white and blue.

And another thing I took home was a pair of second hand blue and white hand made vintage leather dancing oxford shoes, and these were awesome!! I bought them for only 4 Euros and i didn't have to bargain for it :DD, what I like the most about the things i bought yesterday was they were all still in good conditions. (well it also depends on how you see the details but, for me good things doesn't always have to come expensive, :p) <3 <3

I think they just look fabulously classic! the details and the craftmenship worthed much more i think.

The last thing i picked up that day was a nude color Knitwear, and it didn't cost me that much either, believe it or not I only had to pay 2,5 euro. super cheap!

These are some ideas of how I could wear them, match it up with an autumn floral skirt and a unique ivory necklace or... 

 Wear it with an outer wear (fur vest i got from my BF sent from Korea for a valentines gift) and a leather high waist belt.  

Happy Birthday Queen Wilhelmina!

Friendship

title:  my best friend silhouette

done in rhino

There are many ways to express friendship, and i consider this as one, thank you to my best friend i really appreciate the effort of sparring a while to create such masterpiece. I hope we'll reunite soon!

Wrapping up my Final Chapter

I will be busy until this 10th of May. Wish me luck! :D  

Gazelig Easter with Sylvia and Julian

I forgot what its called but I remember so well how it tasted, lekker & smaklijk!! :DD roast beef, tripple sunny side up, potato salad & greens ahh.. yumm!! thanks S&J!!